How To Build a Totem Pole
Below the totem pole creation is divided into seven easy steps. Some people might say that this is an oversimplification. We prefer to say that these steps are, "generally true."
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Get a big log. |  |
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Put it on something strong and use a chain saw to draw a line down the center. | |
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Strip the face off, and layout your design. Then do general carving with your chainsaw. | |
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Find some suckers to do the detail work. That way if anything is messed up, you can blame it on them. | |
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Once they are finished, your totem pole should look like this. | |
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Stain it a few times to keep the bugs out. | |
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Then stand it on end. Don't have a crane? Do you know any Amish people? |